Halloween How-To

Five Tips on How to Celebrate Halloween in a Way 

That Convinces Others You Are Not a Party Animal

• Eat bbq hot dogs, chocolate cake, and root beer for dinner (tip: rootbeer cannot contain dry-ice as that could be viewed as festive).
• Don't dress up in costume.
• Keep your hang-out group to a maximum of four.
• Stalk other's instagram accounts while your husband plays fake blackjack.
• Be home, in bed, and asleep before midnight.
  

Happy Halloween!